The Widow Chronicles - Part I

Hello friends. So much has happened since I last wrote, most obviously the passing of my dear dear husband on the 4th.

As I had reported on New Year's Day, Hubby's breathing had started to deteriorate and while the changes that we made to his medications helped a little, by early that Saturday morning it was clear that something was wrong. 

I called the hospice around 8am to report the changes and they said they would get a nurse out to us, and I called his parents, who had arrived the week before and were staying at the end of the street, to let them know that Peter was asking for them.

I didn't think at this point that things would move so quickly, but as soon as I had hung up to his parents Peter told me that he knew his time was coming and we were able to tell each other how much we loved each other and say our final words. 

His parents arrived shortly after, and we had time to wake his sister, who had arrived the night before and was staying with my friend next door, and they too were able to say their final words, and we were all together when he passed away around 9am.

I cant even begin to describe the pain of feeling your soul mate take his final breath in your arms, and it is something that I think will haunt me forever. But there is also comfort in knowing that he no longer suffers. He was so terribly ill in his last few weeks, and he suffered more than I could bear to watch at times. 

I have been blown away by the response online to Peter's passing. Very quickly both our Facebook pages were awash with messages of condolence, touching tributes and memories, and wonderful pictures, some of which I had not seen before. These all made me so proud to have been married to such an amazing and well loved and respected man, and they give me comfort still.

There is simply no way I can adequately thank my awesome army of friends who have supported me since that awful day. Within about 10 mins of his passing they started to arrive and they have been on hand ever since, either dragging me out when I need distraction or making sure I have space when I need down time. 

There are too many of you to name individually, but I hope you all know who you are and how grateful I am. 

I have to say a special thank you though to Katy, Cameron, Rachel & Heather for going above and beyond the call of duty. For taking care of all the paperwork and formalities, for all the time and effort you put into planning Peter's spectacular memorial, for giving me somewhere to stay until I was ready to stay at home again, for donating your guest rooms to overseas visitors, and for being there for me when I need you. I simply could not have survived the last two weeks without you and I love you all dearly.

That's probably enough for today. I will share more details about his memorial in the future once his parents have had their memorial for him in the UK, and I will let you see where we scattered his ashes once I have copies of the photos. 

And as always, I will share all the ups and downs and adventures that my new life brings me. It will be a much duller life, and most definitely not the life I would choose, but I intend to live it in a way that would make my husband proud!

I love you baby. Rest well xxx